T H E   M A G I C I A N

Positive attributes : “You know when you’re alone, and your chest loosens, and then your chest tightens because you feel you have to be somewhere or with someone. It was inordinately warm for a winter weekend, no snow on the interstates. Minnehaha Falls dripped. Ecstatically.”

Negative attributes : “Still attracted to dive bars and sad men. They seem to replicate.”

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February 2017 : Minneapolis, Minnesota

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Keywords : “And how am I not stuck in a feedback loop? […] No, the thing is, it feels like my decisions are my own. But I know they’re just these determinant chemical processes. And then what do we do with these limitations?”

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Life Situations : “I couldn’t stop listening to ‘Perfect Day’ by Lou Reed. I ended up eating pizza with some Ecuadorians, and I watched a grown man give another grown man a birthday gift at the CC Club. […] No. It was a onesie for his son.”

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In Reverse : “It was a tender time, a mixture of adult puberty and hibernation. The wounds of closure were freshly stitched, and they still burst open at times. But I’ve taught myself to thread a good needle.”

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As a Yes or No Question : “I ate pho in a booth of my own, watched families laugh in the gray afternoon, sat squarely in the discomfort of living. I thought: make me good. Brave. Let me say Yes.”

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